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Goodbye Goodbye [29 Oct 2007|08:11pm]  stickonstar Add me at my new journal. <33333 (who am I?)

[21 Oct 2007|07:13pm] [ mood | sad ] [ music | pressure - paramore ] Someone with a boyfriend shouldnt be this lonely all the time. I havent seen him in a week. I dont know why I even bother. He's probably hanging out with his bestest friend Larissa right now. And shes probably giving him head or something. That whore. They probably dont do anything like that, but still. If you spend more time with your ex-girlfriend than with your current one thats a problem. The thing is, I'm really attached to him. Maybe it has to do with him taking my V-card and shit, but I really dont want to not have him. ... I love him. And it sucks. No one I've dated has ever treated me how I deserve to be treated. So lately I've been under the impression that I deserve to be treated like shit. And then there are people that I know loved me at some point, like Sarah. They get all close to me and compliment me and tell me how much they miss me, and it makes me think something may still be there. But then we hang out and its like shes a totally different person. I'm tired of people fucking with my head. I'm tired of all this bullshit. My heart is a fragile creature and the world is beating the shit out of it. 5 took off the makeup ø (who am I?)

[09 Oct 2007|07:37pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | samson - regina spektor ] He told me he loves me. Makes me smile :-] Its almost mutual. I dont want to jump into "love" too fast though. I'm happy though. We are going camping this weekend. 2 took off the makeup ø (who am I?)

[08 Oct 2007|09:34pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | chemo - regina spektor ] Leighton and I almost broke up, but then didnt. I dont really feel like going into details, but yeah... I might have the house to myself for a while. I'm not sure though. It all depends on if I can convince my father to let me stay here while he's in Italy. If I do then I will probably have a party. And I will definetely have Leighton spend the nighttt. I miss him so much. I cant wait to see him. (who am I?)

[02 Oct 2007|07:11pm] [ mood | uncomfortable ] [ music | dont stop believing - journey ] I dont know if I trust him. He never gave me a reason not to. But he never gave me a reason to trust him either. Something seems shady, thats all. 1 took off the makeup ø (who am I?)

[27 Sep 2007|11:39pm] [ mood | giddy ] [ music | lucky - bif naked ] In like twenty minutes Leighton and I will have been dating for a month. Cute <3 2 took off the makeup ø (who am I?)

[26 Sep 2007|09:34pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | confess - tegan and sara ] Its so confusing. And I keep confusing myself. I havent seen Leighton since the weekend before last. I miss him, sometimes. My feelings are all over the place and they change with every second. But, in my defence, Leighton switches from sweetheart to douchebag by the second as well. But its in this ever-so-slight way where I cant call him on it. I guess I'll just roll with it, though, because I still like him alot. Apparently Leighton has a bunch of ugly christian fangirls that are appaled that he would chose to go out with me. I love their jealousy. Is that bad? I dont really care if it is. Those girls are bitches anyway. I wish my friends knew how much I love them. I love Jacqueline, she knows that. But I hope Sarah and Jenn know how much I love them too. I'm so glad I'm friends with Sarah again. And I really miss Jenn. I'm probably hanging out with her this weekend though. I'm in Advanced Art this year, by the way, and I want to start on a new project tomorrow. I'm painting this picture Its Violet and me when we were fourteen. Good times. I think the painting will turn out well. That is, if Ms.Hodge approves it. Which I'm pretty sure she will. 2 took off the makeup ø (who am I?)

[08 Sep 2007|06:38pm] [ mood | infuriated ] [ music | haha- monsters are waiting ] I hate Josh. I fucking hate him. Whats the point of jacqueline even calling me her best friend? Its obviously not me because she keeps ditching me for her fucking boyfriend. Oh, but if I dont answer the phone because I'm talking to Leighton she gets pissed off. Fuck her and Josh. I made plans with her yesterday, and they got canceled because of him. I cant hang out with her today because she says that I'm not allowed at band practice which I know is total bullshit. She just views me as a cockblock and nothig more. I pretty much never get to see my boyfriend, I think she can go a few hours without hers. Oh, and she swore she'd only hang out with me next friday, and she told Josh and he was all "no, she can have you saturday". What the fuck? Shes her own fucking person, we dont have joint custody over her. If we dont hang out Friday because of him I'm going to cut his dick off as punishment for both of them. Oh, and even better, I didnt get to see Leighton today and probably wont till like next weekend. He never seems to be able to get a ride. But you know what, if you want to see someone bad enough you'll find a way. He needs to find a way. I do. I could have gone to Richmond Hill today, but I'm tired of having to go out of my way to see him. Its his turn. Its the principal of the thing, you know? I dont want to be the only one putting effort into this. And I want to go somewhere besides his house. rljdjf;dsjf;kldaj;akjf. I could shoot someone right now. I seriously could. At least I have two packs of cigarettes and some other things. That helps I guess. I'm just really fucking lonely. I want to see Leighton really badly. Its not gonna happen though. Fucking DUI. He could have his lisence and come see me anytime if that hadnt happened. I might cry. 6 took off the makeup ø (who am I?)

[05 Sep 2007|07:58pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | ugh... maroon five (not intentionally) ] Oh god... I'm fucking insane. I dont know why I torture myself the way I do. Its the ocd, alot of it. I think I purposely compare myself to people in his past just to have a problem to obsess over. I'm so confused. I really like Leighton alot. But I dont know... I feel like I should feel more confident in the relationship then I actually do. I guess these things take time. 1 took off the makeup ø (who am I?)

[30 Aug 2007|04:20pm] [ mood | icky ] [ music | sensitive - jewel ] I miss my boyfriend. Today and yesterday suck. My phone fell in ice tea. Shit. 3 took off the makeup ø (who am I?)

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